I was one of those moms who always thought being a mom was easy. Well, my firstborn was an easy one to handle until she reached toddler-hood. And then I became pregnant with my second one. Life got a whole lot harder when I started juggling with a toddler & my pregnancy. Her sleep regressions, toddler tantrums and my pregnancy blues made it harder. Things got much easier when we started doing things differently and here are a few things I learned along the way.
1. Plan a day in a week to relax & rejuvenate
This is a must-do for every mom. Well managing a newborn/ pregnancy & a toddler is exhausting. Make sure to plan a day to relax & rejuvenate. I mostly keep my Sundays for this. We avoid planning anything that day – no meeting friends, no walk or going out. It is a day to relax with a simple breakfast, lunch & dinner. Once I put my girl for her morning nap, I soak in a warm tub to relax, read a book, Netflix, eat my lunch peacefully & sleep for a good 2 hours. While my husband takes care of my daughter and enjoys dad & daughter time for rest of the day. Doing this once a week feels so good and relaxes my soul. And if you have a newborn to care, do try to cuddle in with the baby when you can.
2. Simplify Household Chores
Following a schedule helps to simplify household chores. We try not to mess with our schedule and that is the only key that is actually helping us manage everything with minimal help. Try to cut down on the time you spend on household chores, which will make your life more simple and it helps you spend hours with your kids peacefully. Here is what & how we do it:
- Plan for weeks meal – I spend an hour or two on weekend to cut vegetables, soak pulses, prepare ready to eat meals (dosa batter, idli batter, etc.). This makes it super easy to manage weekdays. My husband helps in preparing breakfast while I take care of my daughter’s schedule. Which makes my afternoons peaceful, I am almost free after lunch (if there are no tantrums & drama) to take a nap, Blog or Netflix.
- Utilize Instant pot – Instant pot has made our lives so simple & easy. I cook almost everything in it and it has been a great help.
- Other Chores – We divide up laundry, dishwashing & vacuuming amongst ourselves depending on who has some free time.
3. Delegating Toddler tasks
If you have a newborn, you will thank me for this tip. I used to be extremely possessive about my daughter and she was too dependent on me for everything. We worked really hard to make her eat & sleep without my help. And made her comfortable with my husband. This helped me relax while I was in third trimester and also the initial month when the baby was born.
4. Plan set of activities to keep the toddler busy
Oh boy! Do this to avoid all the fuss, tantrums and craziness. I try to keep her occupied with a variety of activities throughout the day. Some days when I cannot plan anything, I let her play with a set of spoons, throw around flour, play with coloured rice and the like. We also started 10 min screen time after she turned one, believe me, this is the only thing that helps me sip on my tea peacefully.
5. Prepare Toddler for the New baby while pregnant
One of the worries that I constantly had back of mind is how the second baby was going to affect my first and how I am going to help them bond. Though my daughter is super sweet and understanding, there were days where she wanted my attention & cried watching me spend more time with baby. I feel thankful for making her prepare for baby while I was pregnant. Talking to my belly, looking at baby clothes and shoes, reading books on sibling and sharing was part of our preparations and now she is so accommodating.
Remember this is just a phase. It sure is very hard to manage a toddler & a newborn/ pregnancy. The only thing that keeps me going every day is the mental image of having our tiny little beautiful family with two kids. I am not saying it is easy. It is damn difficult and makes you super crazy. There are days when I am angry and sobbing at the corner of the room wanting my old life back. But believe me, as the days are approaching we sit and laugh at those crazy moments. And I am sure we will be doing the same few years down the line. You will learn along the way and things will get easier. And soon there will be a day when you will start missing these golden days! haha, and might even start thinking of another baby 🤣.
Enjoy the craziness of motherhood! 💖